During my first year following Rick’s death, a close friend suggested I write a book about my grief experience. She said something to the effect that the way I handled the grief was so different and positive, and that it might be helpful to someone else. Today I can list the names of no fewer than six entirely unrelated people who have, out of the blue, said to me that I “should write a book.”
Having worked in the Christian publishing industry and read some really great authors it’s difficult to imagine that anyone would be interested in what I have to say. Yet I know, given my own reading on the topic of grief, that my experience…no…the way I chose to respond to my experience was a little different.
As much as I would like to continue putting off the idea of publishing my intimate first year experiences – and perhaps My Second Year experiences – the fact that my obedience usually kicks in at around three promptings from the Holy Spirit means I’m a little behind. Six…seriously? It’s like God isn’t giving up on this one, which all of the sudden feels like I might have missed a really important opportunity to help someone else. Drat.
Wouldn’t it be super cool if the person responsible for the death, grief, and bereavement Christian book category would just call me up and invite me to share my 94-page journal from the first year? Ha, not happening. I have to take a step in faith, right?
Yes, write the book. Your experience is not others' so you have something to offer, and your experience is like others, especially women, who will resonate with and respond to your thoughts like they might not be able to do re other authors. A small book I highly recommend: Nicholas Wolterstorff's "Lament for a Son." Dr. W. was, as you may know, a long-time prof at Calvin and later Yale. He is a nationally known Chr philosopher. But years ago they lost their 20something son in an accident in Europe. Dr. W. tells how he worked through his grief and even anger at God by writing--he's a scholar so that's what helped him. When people heard about his journal they began encouraging him to publish, but he resisted for awhile making his private thoughts public or "using" his son's death in this way. In the book he tells how and why he changed his mind.
ReplyDeleteThis is a great book, which was first recommended to me by a college prof when I had to speak in college chapel following the death of a student. I read Dr. W's book in one eve. Over the years I had to speak a number of times after the death of a student, which always flattens a campus because when you're 18-20 you think you're invulnerable. This book was a great resource.
Your book could help others like the women, or men, I mentioned above but also could help people faced with the responsibility of ministering/assisting others through grief. One of the things I always say is that God never told us we had to like death, just not fear it. When it happens it hurts because there's a separation. So a speaker sometimes has to help Christians learn how and that it's OK to grieve.
Hope this helps.
I agree with Rex. Your story needs to be told.
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