Roller Coasters and Merry-Go-Rounds

Life can be like a roller coaster. The ride starts out by slowly going uphill to the tic-tic sound of the chain that lifts you to the top; there’s great anticipation while you wait. Then you’re dropped face first back to the bottom – sometimes even lower – at lightning speed. Your heart started pounding out of your chest back on the first hill and right about now your lunch might get a second round. You get lurched upside down a few times while you bang your head against both sides of the harness. You go through dark tunnels where you can’t see that turn up ahead. Lights that you never see flash so that you can have a picture, an unflattering reminder of how much you’re enjoying that coaster. Then the coaster comes to a screeching halt. When you’re done, you definitely know the ride was worth it.

Life can be like a merry-go-round too. The ride starts out slowly. You adjust to the centrifugal force as it picks up a little speed. You might be on the race horse kind where you get to go up and down a little. Then the ride slowly comes to an end and you get off. When you’re done, you’re not sure if the ride was worth it.

Life is what you make of it. Choose coasters!

Top 10 Roller Coasters

1. Top Thrill Dragster
2. Maverick
3. Millennium Force
4. Wicked Twister
5. Magnum
6. Raptor
7. Iron Dragon
8. Gemini
9. Mantis
10. Cork Screw

A weekend at Cedar Point nets a list of my Top 10 favorite roller coaster rides. I rode the Top Thrill Dragster for the first time this year. 0-120 mph in 3.8 seconds. 425 feet tall. 17 seconds long. I could have a love affair with this coaster. Waiters watch with baited breath as the train reaches the top…will it make it over the curve as designed or will it slide backward down the hill toward the beginning. What a rush! The Dragster can be seen in the far right of the first photo.



On our first wedding anniversary, Rick and I went to Cedar Point. He and I rode all the coasters that were here 20 years ago - the Magnum was new that year. A handful of times over the course of our marriage we came back to the Point including the summer before he died. By that time his preference for coasters was not to ride them. In 95 degree weather, Rick would wait two hours in line with me so that I could ride every coaster I wanted. He’d simply step through the coaster and onto the exit ramp and wait for me with a big smile…every time.

I got the idea that I was the most special person on earth when he did that. He did these kinds of things for me a lot and I knew it. This year, as I wait in these somewhat shorter lines alone, I remember him. I remember his kindness and his generosity and the way he made me feel so special. I feel honored to have been loved like this.

Ugandan Economy and Mission Work

The three-part discussion about child sacrifice describes how the prosperous economy is said to be driving that tragedy. Missionaries, like Laura at Mercy Uganda, will join with Ugandans and try to help overcome this atrocity.

Child sacrifice, or the scarce resources for village witch doctors that result from stopping child sacrifice, will likely result in finding other ways to extort money from Ugandans. Missionaries will work to reach these people and help them to see Jesus as their source.

A growing economy means that more people have access to commerce and the business opportunities therein. Missionaries can bring business acumen to provide a model for small business start up.

As the shift in dependence on agriculture moves to service and industry sectors, people will become more educated. As a result, missionaries may be part of a group to provide that education. Education would come in regards to health care (and thus HIV prevention) as well as learning skilled trades, and literacy. Mercy Uganda has liaisons in the areas of medicine, education, and ministry.

The growing economy creates opportunities to see a very real and perhaps somewhat immediate change as the result of ministry efforts. Regardless of the actual positive and negative effects a growing economy has on Uganda, there are still people there who need Jesus, who need to not worry about their children being abducted, who need food on a daily basis, and who need to have a lifetime beyond the median age of 15 years.

Ugandan Economy

According to the CIA World Factbook, an era of economic growth has continued in Uganda since the early 1990s. The government continues to invest in infrastructure, production and export incentives, and domestic security to further that growth. The GDP in 2009 was $1,300 compared to $46,400 in the U.S. Although poverty is defined differently among nations, 35% of the population lives below the poverty line in Uganda as compared to 12% in the U.S.

Agriculture is the most important part of the Ugandan economy, which employs 82% of the workforce (services 13% and industry 5%). The concentration on agriculture makes the economy particularly susceptible to weather conditions and the ability to irrigate crops. Agricultural products concentrate on coffee but also includes tea, cotton, tobacco, cassava (tapioca), potatoes, corn, millet, pulses, cut flowers (I wonder if they have daisies), beef, goat meat, milk, and poultry. Not surprisingly Ugandan exports include coffee, fish, tea, cotton, flowers. Gold is also a major export in Uganda and much of Africa.

Because of the low emphasis on the service and industry sectors of the economy, Uganda imports primarily capital equipment, vehicles, petroleum, medical supplies, and cereals. Twenty years of investment in infrastructure should produce a shift in what makes up the service and industry portion of the economy but such a shift is understandably slow moving.

The Extravert-Introvert Continuum

Carl Jung popularized the idea that extraversion-introversion are central dimensions of the human personality and that they reside on a single continuum. The continuum approach means that people fluctuate in their behavior given circumstances along a continuum, not that there is an absence of one type and an abundance of another.

Extraverts tend to be assertive and excitement seekers; they have a broad circle of friends and are easily sociable. Introverts tend to be reserved and less outgoing, but not necessarily loners; they have a small circle of friends, but are not necessarily shy or anxious around others. I’ve heard the two dimensions also described as a preferred source of energy – extraverts recharge by being with lots of other people and activity, introverts recharge by being alone and quiet.

I always categorized myself as introverted, although friends were often surprised. I think over time I became increasingly introverted because I didn’t like getting hurt by other people. I built walls to protect myself. I tried to be perfect so people wouldn’t have a reason to hurt me. This year has been about breaking down those walls, which is having a rather unexpected effect on my position on the extravert-introvert continuum.

Although I doubt I’ll ever be a full-on extravert, I am surprised to find myself craving relationships and that I’m much more willing to step out of my comfort zone to find them. I don’t know if this feeling is the result of having no choice but to be alone (in a marriage that no longer exists) or if it is the result of some change in me through the work of My Second Year. Whatever the case, I’m dipping my toes into this new territory with some eager anticipation and expectations of knowing people who are broken just like me.

Book Review: Do Hard Things

Do Hard Things is about raising expectations of what teens can accomplish. Several great stories of teens rising above the expectations of parents, society, and themselves are contained between the covers. Yet, I could not help but wonder about how many of these stories were exceptions.
The value in this book was the small closing section called The Story Waiting to Be Told. The section is an outline of some recurring themes in the many stories of teens who took first steps to make practical changes on the way to doing hard things.

1. Get honest about yourself.
2. End negative patterns.
3. Connect with those who can help.
4. Identify a few key action steps.
5. Acknowledge the need for God’s help.
6. Expect success.

Sounds simple, right? No matter how I think about it I can see places where I get stuck at the first step (or I need to repeat it over and over) and places where I’ve conquered the first step. Same with the remaining steps…sometimes I win, sometimes I lose. On the whole, though, I hope I’m gaining more than losing. I’d like to think this gaining-losing process, this tug-o-war, is normal. The point is that we’re on the path to doing the hard things of life rather than running away from them.

“Who is like the wise man? Who knows the explanation of things? Wisdom brightens a man’s face and changes its hard appearance” (Ecclesiastes 8:1).

Everything’s Gonna Be Okay

Most days I feel great. Is it okay to feel generally happy a year and a half after my best friend died? I should be moving on, right? I should be reforming my own life now…right? I will never forget, Rick. He will always have a very special place in my heart. But he can’t be here now so I have to move forward…right?

Honestly, I have no idea how I should feel. I think part of the reason I generally feel this good is because I’m learning to have a relationship with Jesus like none other. I’m working through my grief via exercise, reading, journaling, new friendships, and by having a mission focus. I’m also being a realist about life today with, perhaps, a little romanticist mixed in.

But, yesterday…not so great. It’s like everything I ever learned, knew, or believed went out the door. I almost feel ashamed when this happens. I feel like I’m not conquering, overcoming…like I might not “make it.” I feel like I am a bad Christian because on this day I can’t see anything but my grief. Am I allowed to have fall-apart days? Am I allowed to have cry-in-the-car days? Am I allowed to think that everything stinks, believe that things will never get better, and feel generally hopeless? Just for a moment? Just for a moment can I feel this way…before I come back to reality where I know everything will be okay?

Photography in Uganda

Photography in tourist locations is permitted. However, taking pictures of military/police installations or personnel is prohibited. Military and police officers have detained tourists for taking photographs of Entebbe Airport and of the area around Owen Falls Dam, near Jinja, although the prohibition on taking photographs is not publicly displayed on signs.

Huh…good thing I found this information on the U.S. Department of State website. I surely would have viewed the presence of the military, the uniqueness of the Entebbe Airport, and the Owen Falls Dam to be interesting and different than anything I’d seen before (i.e., photo worthy).



How these photos were taken, I have no idea. Perhaps they were not taken by tourists. Perhaps they were released by the government. Perhaps they were taken by tourists but the tourists weren’t caught. Whatever the case, I’ll refrain from photography in these situations. The trick is to know when photography is forbidden given that no public notice is displayed.

The Lord's Resistance Army

Conflict still exists where northern Uganda borders southern Sudan and eastern Congo. The Lord’s Resistance Army continues to attempt to regain the control lost in 2006. The LRA claims to be a Christian group, but is influenced by mysticism, Islam, and Acholi tradition. Their purpose is a rebellion against the Ugandan government but its ideology is difficult to understand – do they seek political power or to brutalize civilians and loot their homes? The U.S. views the LRA as a terrorist group.

The movie Invisible Children was the short story of a boy named Innocent who described his many mile hike each morning and evening to sleep in safe camps with thousands of other children for fear of being abducted and forced to join the LRA.

According to the U.S. Department of State, U.S. citizens traveling to the area commonly known as Karamoja in northeastern Uganda should be aware of ongoing conflict and armed banditry. The site didn’t identify whether this conflict was related to the LRA but given the proximity I would expect so. Karamoja is one of the locations we’re slated to visit but I understand that our contacts there help to ensure our safe travel.

The Lovely Bones

“These were the lovely bones that had grown around my absence: the connections – sometimes tenuous, sometimes made at great cost, but often magnificent – that happened after I was gone. The events that my death wrought were merely the bones of a body that would become whole at some unpredictable time in the future. The price of what I came to see as this miraculous body had been my life” (Seabold, 2002, p. 320).

These lines from The Lovely Bones are a keen summation what I sometimes feel happening in my own life. Today, one and a half years after Rick died, I feel this tenuous structure that is forming. It’s weak and shaky most of the time – it’s uncertain, it’s fragile – but it’s forming none-the-less. The rebuilding of this structure is a complex activity.

Bones don’t always heal as they should. Without proper care, this new growth could take on depression, negativity, bitterness, rejection, or anger. Rather, the healing process somehow incorporates these attitudes into the new thing that forms. That is why tenderly caring for these lovely bones as they reform this new structure, this new life, is such an important undertaking.

Thank you for indulging me in this process of reshaping who I am in this world and who I am in Christ. Thank you for watching me, guiding me, and encouraging me along the way…for these are my lovely bones.

“Did you not pour me out like milk and curdle me like cheese, clothe me with skin and flesh and knit me together with bones and sinews? You gave me life and showed me kindness, and in your providence watched over my spirit” (Job 10:10-12).

Mission Trip #3: Lake Ann Camp

Choosing the third mission trip for this year was much easier than choosing the first and second trips. As a matter of fact, I might say that choosing is no longer the right word. They just seem to fall into my lap. Perhaps part of the newfound ease of choosing is related to my having a different perspective about the importance of service or about the importance of relationships. I have a wonderful friend whose whole family has been involved in this ministry for many years. When such a ministry is endorsed in this way, I find myself drawn in.

This “mission trip,” however, is really a volunteer endeavor. I pondered whether or not the volunteer approach aligned with My Second Year purpose – to break down walls, build compassion, and show grace. Guess what! It does. I love that God is using a variety of unexpected ways to draw me in and keep me close to him…and to refine my heart.

To honor this friend I will volunteer at Lake Ann Camp between July 5-10, and perhaps again in August, by working with the kitchen crew…“Happily serving Jesus one hungry camper at a time.”


“I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me drink, I was a stranger and you welcomed me” (Matthew 25:35).

Deciding on Missions

I continue to obediently wait on God to reveal his will for my next short-term mission trip. I am finding that I have more patience and less worry than I would have in the past (yea!). I’m finding that I have more flexibility because I have no expectation that the trip will take any particular form. I’m also finding that the revealed mission seems always related to someone I know and someone who has had a big influence on my life – someone I want to honor.

How do I know which mission is “the one”? I get this sense that washes over me, like an “ah-ha” moment. What’s funny is that when God planted the seed in my heart about My Second Year and the direction it would take, I thought maybe three short-term mission trips would round out my year. I also had the sense that missions would somehow continue beyond year two but they would, perhaps, take a different form. I know it’s crazy but I have three more things in the works. God is so good.

Stay tuned for details about mission trip #3.

50 Things I’m Thankful For

I was recently asked if I could list 50 things I am thankful for. Without hesitation, I said “yes.” Just for fun I gave it a whirl. Right off the bat I had to eliminate anything to do with Jesus and spirituality (salvation, grace, hope, etc.), friends and family (Ricky, parents, kids, etc.), and nature (mountains, snow, autumn leaves, etc.). I could have listed 50 things I’m thankful for in each of these categories alone. So here is my random list of 50 everyday things I am thankful for - many of which have more meaning than you might guess. (I had to mix up the list so you wouldn’t see how many of the items are food related.) What would be on your list?

1. Daisies
2. Roosters
3. Creativity
4. Candy
5. Art
6. Love
7. Work
8. Color
9. Passion
10. Roller coasters
11. Fried chicken
12. Sand castles
13. Taste buds
14. Laughing
15. Clean sheets
16. Travel
17. Books and reading
18. Fire in the fire pit
19. Kites
20. Hot bubble baths
21. Ketchup (definitely NOT mustard)
22. Hawks
23. Motorcycles and snowmobiles
24. Cribbage
25. Saturday morning monkey bread
26. The sound of spring peepers
27. Computers
28. Sunday naps
29. Thick, fluffy socks
30. Quiet
31. The first day nice enough to eat dinner on the patio
32. Walking trails
33. Math
34. Babies
35. Peanut butter pie
36. Giggles
37. Music and singing
38. Learning
39. Touch
40. Patterns
41. Toothpaste and toothbrushes
42. Candles
43. Summer solstice
44. Writing
45. Swings
46. Duncan Donuts
47. Knitted winter mittens
48. Scrabble
49. Kayaking
50. Tom’s chocolate cake

Things Ugandans Love

As part of the mission trip to Uganda, Mercy Uganda asks that we bring a suitcase packed with benevolent gifts for the people there. Some simple things are either not available at all in Uganda or are more expensive than what most Ugandans can afford. Will you help?

Deodorant
Soap
Shoes for children (think summer)
Clothes for children (think summer)
Coloring books and crayons
Children’s games
Pencils and erasers
Mosquito nets (think Malaria prevention)

I know we are working to acquire several sewing machines for the women in Uganda and I imagine thread, elastic, buttons, etc. would be quite useful as well.

Please consider making a contribution before June 1. I will be glad to pick these things up from you or you can have them shipped directly to me.

Thank you, thank you, thank you for your generosity!

Who am I?

I was reflecting on a number of conversations I’ve had with various friends over the past couple of months. We talk about things like where I want to live, what I want to be when I grow up, or whether or not I like/dislike certain things. I was struck by the realization that I was responding to many of the discussions based on old paradigms. I responded based on plans Rick and I established. I responded based on who my employers said I was. I responded based on what others expected me to be. Of course, some of my own thoughts were mixed in.

Have you ever taken a personality test…something like Myers-Briggs typology or the DISK assessment? I’ve taken the pair of tests perhaps four or five different times. Each time I felt pressured into answering the questions based on what other people say about me, who society said I should be, what my education said I should be, or what I wanted to the answer to be. I was never sure what the answer truly was…what was really true about me.

So, who am I really? As I reflected on these conversations with friends, I realized that I might not answer some of those questions in the same way today as I would have in the past (if I allowed myself the moment to reflect before blurting out the long practiced answers). Of course that doesn’t mean I know how I would answer differently. I love being challenged to really think about what I want and who I want to be.

It’s a little disconcerting to not know who I am, but at the same time it’s really exciting to think maybe – just maybe – My Second Year really is transforming me. Or…is it that I want the change and so that is what I see? Oh bother. Among all else, I always know that I am a child of God and whatever good there is in me comes from him.

Glacial Curves

Glaciers are formed when more snow collects than the amount of snow that melts. Typically glaciers form in polar mountainous regions (these photos were taken at Denali). Some of the glaciers here were estimated to be over 3,500 feet deep, based on the known height of the mountains and how much of that mountain remains exposed. This snow is compacted over the years and gravity drags the glacier downhill. Eventually the glacier must navigate a corner and the stress from this glacial curve cracks the formerly smooth surface. I was pondering how much life can resemble a glacier.

The snow collects. As the experiences of our lives collect, the beautiful smooth surfaces form something that looks like a path or a road. We can easily see what is ahead and what is behind. Sometimes we even believe that navigating the path looks easy.

The snow gets deeper. As we grow older and more mature, the experiences of our lives – both positive and negative –pile on top of one another. The accumulating snow on the glacier compacts from the weight. It gets deeper – a sometimes uncomfortable but usually tolerable state – and stronger.

The glaciers crack. As life surprises us with unimaginable challenges, the glacier turns a corner and the stress of the ice against the rock cracks the glacier. The rock always wins. Sometimes we feel the cracks are a breaking us. Although cracks in life are definitely painful, they’re also quite necessary to relieve the stress, to navigate the path. Cracks allow flexibility and reformation; the glacier is not broken because of these cracks.

Knowing that my cracks occur in the close company of the Rock makes navigating glacial curves just a little more worthwhile.

Child Sacrifice Part 3

Are Ugandan children sacrificed for religious ritual or for money? The answer: Yes. The Bible is instructive about both issues.

About child sacrifice the Bible says, “Do not give any of your children to be sacrificed to Molech, for you must not profane the name of your God” (Leviticus 18:21) and “You must not worship the Lord your God in their way, because in worshiping their gods, they do all kinds of detestable things the Lord hates. They even burn their sons and daughters in the fire as sacrifices to their gods” (Deuteronomy 12:31).

About money the Bible says, “No one can serve two masters. Either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and Money” (Matthew 6:24) and “…but as they go on their way they are choked by life’s worries, riches and pleasures…” (Luke 8:14).

Not many of the readers of this blog would argue that child sacrifice and money worship are traps created by the enemy, they’re wrong. But how can we change the hearts of the Ugandans? How can we stop child sacrifice? An April 2010 report from CBS indicated that people are being accused and charged but not convicted. Laws, task forces…they’re not working – at least in the short term. I was aiming to describe Jesus as the only true healer, and of course he is. However, brining his light into this part of the Ugandan world takes time too. What can we do to make sure one more child stays safe at home?

Child Sacrifice Part 2

As shown in the BBC report, one former witch doctor travels through northern Uganda to press practicing witch doctors into reformation. He revealed that some of the witch doctors are afraid of police punishment if they admit to the crime and ask for help. Other witch doctors are afraid of retribution from the spirits if they stop performing ritual sacrifices. To the witch doctors who want to stop, it seems like a no-win situation.

The Minister of Ethics and Integrity in Uganda, James Buturo, grants that evil spirits exist in all cultures, but acknowledges that they need not be consulted for any purpose. In 2008 Buturo called for a ban on mini-skirts because of the distraction to drivers resulting in traffic accidents (remember this is the place where I must wear long dresses). In 2009 Buturo introduced an anti-homosexuality bill to protect the traditional family. These two examples alone suggest that Buturo has a very conservative, fundamental view…one that is often not often favored locally or internationally. Given the state of our world, I am not surprised that a minister of ethics is not a popular person. It’s with this man that Laura and I will meet to find out how we can best support the efforts to end child sacrifice.

Last year an Anti Human Sacrifice and Trafficking task force was established in the Kampala police department. The task force is headed by Moses Binoga. Efforts to find more information about the task force failed. A handful of articles published in 2010 are simply repeated in multiple news sources. The variety and content of quotes by Binoga, however, suggests the task force does exist.

As with all reporting, bias, agendas, and worldviews shape content. What is truth in these situations? While I don’t claim to know the answers, I am more informed about the controversy, the people involved, and the issues. At best I can pray for release from these strongholds and that Jesus would be known and loved far and wide in Uganda.

Child Sacrifice Part I

In January 2010, the BBC did a report indicating that child sacrifice is on the rise in Uganda. In February 2010, ABC News did a two-part series on child sacrifice in Uganda (watch part one and part two). Newfound prosperity seems to be a driving force behind these sacrifices along with the belief that witchcraft can help people get rich.

Ugandan economic reform plans established in 2005 have been successful. Largely state-controlled, the private sector is blossoming under these reforms. While direct foreign investments are still uncontrolled, an increase in demand will put pressure on lawmakers in this area as well.

Witch doctors are playing the role of intermediary by promising wealth in exchange for child sacrifice. The witch doctor is paid to tell customers what they must do to get rich and they’re being paid to perform the ritual of the often prescribed child sacrifice. They harvest the blood, certain organs, or entire body parts in the religious ritual.

The demand for child sacrifice results in children that mysteriously go missing. A few parents willingly sacrifice their own children for riches. Some witch doctors drive up the monetary value of their advice by demanding flawless children – one circumcised child was rejected as blemished and thus his life was spared. As a result Ugandan parents are piercing the ears of their children to help protect them.

Public versus Private

I’ve run into a curious situation. You saw my post about the small village in Alaska that preferred not to have any blog discussion about them. Some of what I learned before going was troubling and cause for specific prayer. Some of what I experienced while there was amazing and cause for celebration.

As I prepare to go to Uganda, I specifically inquired about whether or not the darker parts of the issues in the villages (child sacrifice) could be discussed online and the response I received was a resounding “yes!” I was told the people there know what their problems are and they want them to stop. Raising awareness is one way to bring an end to these problems.

What is it that makes one village want their needs to remain private and another village willing to make their needs public? I wonder if there is any relationship between the public/private discussion and my own ponderings about journaling and the fear behind the public nature of writing in a blog.

Culture must certainly play a role in these differences as well as a variety of other circumstances. For example, many Alaskan villages are not on a road system, which may result in a culture preferring privacy. Many Ugandan villages are on a crude road system which may result in a more public culture. Whatever the reason, the two mission experiences will differ in the issues within the villages and the desired degree of anonymity.

“Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous man is powerful and effective” (James 5:16).

Journaling

In an early post called My First Year, I described the writing I did about the ways I recognized the many first without Rick and the many lasts with him. This 94-page journal was a very private and safe way to express myself as best I could at that time. No judges scored the content, or the authenticity, or the level of public interest. It’s all mine…no risk, no danger, just me and Jesus.

Writing for the My Second Year blog is undoubtedly another form of journaling. The blog is filtered in that it has a specific focus – grief, healing, and transformation into life and hope through short-term missions. It’s also a very public display of my heart. Putting myself “out there” is entirely contrary to the private person I am/was. It’s scary…to say the least. Every time I think I should not reveal a particular piece of me I’m somehow prompted to do it anyhow…to take the risk, to be authentic.

To write publicly about the details of my personal journey for the world to see is also exciting. I’m learning to let go of a deep concern for being judged and to trust that what is in my heart is real and broken and normal and that the only person from whom I need approval is Jesus. I’m also learning more about myself when I really allow those deep thoughts to surface through journaling. It’s still hard to let go of those old fears, but I can feel it happening.

Let me encourage you in all that you have been through, are going through, or will go through to focus on Him. “Perfect love casts out fear” (1 John 4:18).

Happy Mother's Day

My Second Year is focused on addressing issues of grief and healing along with the mission work that God has called me to. You may wonder how a post about my mother relates to that focus. Well, let me tell you.

When I called my mother to tell her that Rick died…
…she screamed.
…she got in the car and drove all the way here from Florida (with dad).
…she called the Press to read them the obituary.
…she had Rick’s photo framed beautifully in preparation for the memorial service.
…she bought me some pretty clothes to wear at the service.
…she said some crazy but wonderful things at the service.
…she gave me a small teddy bear to sleep with.

When my mother came to stay with me during graduation…
…she tolerated my crazy emotional upheaval about getting through the ceremony without Rick.
…she planted beautiful flowers all around the outside of the house.
…she bought me some pretty spring clothes (she must know how much I dislike shopping).
…she ironed my graduation robe.
…she gave me the space I needed the morning of the ceremony – even though she’d come all this way.
…she served (refreshed, cleaned, kept things moving) all during the open house.

My mother knew about those little things that needed to be done and she knew they just might pull me under. My mother has put up with some pretty crappy stuff from me through all this really hard part of my life, but she keeps right on loving me. That is what MY mother has to do with My Second Year. I love you, mom!

Three Important Roads

Three streets stand out as significant in the stories of the Bible.

The narrow road leads to life (Matthew 7:14). Based on the bit of text Scripture offers, it looks like there are only two choices: the narrow road or the broad road. One or the other. Not both. There is no alternate route. Our eternal destiny is determined by which road we choose. We can have destruction or we can have life. Standing at this crossroad comes upon us a number of times over the course of our lives, doesn’t it? How do we know for sure which road is broad and which is narrow? Sometimes it’s hard to see.

The street where Jesus rode into Jerusalem marked his last week on earth (Matthew 21:8; Mark 11:1). Jesus willingly stepped toward the destiny God prepared for him, even though he knew it wouldn’t be easy. Not only would this road not be an easy one, the road would not have any honors, acclamations, or white horses. No special treatment for this king. In fact, the road seemed rather lonely, some of his friends left him, he was mocked, and he was degraded. If we could see this when we’re choosing the broad or narrow road…which would you chose? I’m not always so sure I’d make the right choice.

The streets of gold in the Great City (Revelation 21:21). This Great City is a place where no one who is sanctified is kept out. Transparent streets of gold. I don’t know what transparent gold is like, but I think the idea is that God’s light shines through everything. Nothing is hidden from that light. I imagine that transparency, that authenticity, would be so refreshing and bring peace that we have never experienced before. As much as we try to have real relationships, I’m not sure it’s possible to make ourselves completely vulnerable while we are still on earth. But the idea that we cannot hide ourselves in heaven brings to mind a sense of release and true rest.

So, what road are you on? Are you sure? Always?

Finding God Alongside the Road

My life sometimes looks like those figuratively crooked, muddy, wide roads. I willfully conduct commerce along these roads by exchanging God’s goodness for something I believe would be better. The Bible shows just a bit of what I have definitely been missing:

God answers a servant’s prayer before he was even finished; Rebekah came along the road with a pitcher of water (Genesis 24:48).

God provides a way out; a desert road led the Israelites out of Egypt and to the Red Sea (Exodus 13:18).

God has compassion on those who suffer; beside the roads and pastures we’ll find food (Isaiah 49:9).

God will do a new thing on the earth; set up road signs and guideposts so that we can return to him (Jeremiah 31:21-22).

God answers prayer, provides a way out, has compassion, and will do something new to release me from this earthly life – all alongside the roads we travel. Why would I ever think I could map out a better journey for myself? I guess that is part of what My Second Year is all about – breaking down the walls that prevent me from fully relying on God. I’m so thankful that he continues to find me along my road.

Commerce on the Ugandan Roads

Based on the information provided by the U.S. Department of State, we can expect much commerce on the roads in Uganda. For example, pick pocketing, purse snatching, and theft is common on public transportation. This type of commerce also occurs in parked vehicles, vehicles stalled in traffic jams, and vehicles locked and patrolled by security. Pedestrians are a source of commerce to armed robbers in daylight and in public places as well as in nighttime and secluded places.

Nighttime, however, is the time when people are advised that this type of commerce increases – particularly outside the limits of larger cities and towns. Women are also advised to travel in groups and to avoid the "boda boda" motorcycle taxi so as to reduce susceptibility.

Mercy Uganda liaisons have arranged for a car rental while we’re in Uganda and every village we will minister in has several trusted officials and families who will watch for our safety as we travel. That the ministry has been established for some time and visits Uganda at least quarterly is beneficial in building the relationships that make it safer to minister there.

Streets and Roads in the Bible

As I thought about the roads we’ll travel in Uganda, I wondered about how they might be similar to the roads in Bible times. I found that the Bible describes many roads by using the words “roadside,” “main road,” and “along the road to” for what seems like the purpose of giving a setting or directions. Specific verses that describe the qualities of the roads and streets, however, were few and most seem to be figurative. I wonder why there are so few descriptions of the literal roads and yet streets and roads were used quite often in a figurative way.

Crooked roads (Isaiah 59:8)
Crooked roads that become straight (Luke 3:5)
Roads that branch (Ezekiel 21:19)
Street corners (2 Chronicles 28:24)
Street squares (Proverbs 5:16, Song of Solomon 3:2)
Wide roads that lead to destruction (Matthew 7:13)
Muddy streets (2 Samuel 22:43; Psalm 18:42)
Springs overflow in the streets (Proverbs 5:16)
Deserted roads (Leviticus 26:22)
Abandoned roads (Judges 5:6)

Based on the description of these roads from the Bible, I would expect the roads in Uganda to be very similar. Another important similarity is that Jesus never leaves us on those crooked roads, muddy roads, abandoned roads, and street corners. He calls us in to celebrate the wedding feast with him. Amen.

Traveling to Ugandan Villages

While in Uganda, we’ll be ministering in several small village areas and it would be impossible, I’m told by the mission leader, to list them all. We will fly into the Entebbe Airport in Uganda from Amsterdam, and stay in an area called Kajjansi. A few of the places we will go include: Kalangaalo-Kyamagemule, Karamoja, and possibly Ntenjeru. Laura didn't go to Ntenjeru on her last trip but has been there before. Kefa Sempangi, author of A Distant Grief, is involved in ministry there and has things we wants us to help with.....there could be other places too.

Kampala is the only semi-developed city in Uganda so I began wondering how we would travel between villages. The U.S. Department of State has this to say about travel in Uganda: “Most inter-city transportation in Uganda is by small van or large bus. Many drivers of these vehicles have little training and some are reckless. Small vans and large buses are often poorly maintained, travel at high speeds, and are the principal vehicles involved in the many deadly single and multi-vehicle accidents along Ugandan roads. Large trucks on the highways are often overloaded, with inadequately secured cargo and poor braking systems.”

Pray that the many roads we travel lead us to something so wonderful that we don’t even remember the troubles associated with getting to our destination.

Fully Devoted Follower of Christ

What does it mean to be a fully devoted follower of Christ? Fully devoted? Fully? Is it even possible to articulate the meaning behind the question? I ask because it’s so easy to skim past questions like this with answers like, “Ya, I love Jesus.” But is that what the question really asks? I’ve had lots of times in my life where I’ve been closer to or further away from Jesus, and research affirms varying degrees of relationship, which supports the idea that there is a difference between loving Jesus and being “fully devoted” to him.

So what does being “fully devoted” really mean? McLean Bible Church had a lot to say about what it means to be a “fully devoted follower of Christ.” They said six Cs would demonstrate full devotion: (1) communion with God, (2) competence in the Word, (3) consistent walk, (4) connected to the body, (5) commissioned for ministry, and (6) committed to the lost.

This approach make sense – confess Jesus, read the Bible, be faithful, have relationships, love and serve people, and evangelize – right? I’m not so sure, to be honest. I feel like there is a difference between doing all the “right” things and actually being “fully devoted.” For the past year and a half I’ve felt like I’m on the cusp of this full and complete abandon to the things of Jesus, but I can’t quite figure out how to step over that edge…fully. So help me. What does it mean? What does it look like? What does it feel like? How do I get there? Is this feeling what it means to be hungry for God?

“The Lord is with you when you are with him. If you seek him, he will be found by you, but if you forsake him, he will forsake you” (2 Corinthians 15:2).

Support Request

Witch doctors sacrifice children believing that they will help people get rich quickly. Children under the age of five die prematurely because of malaria, pneumonia, and diarrhea. Adults die prematurely because of AIDS, malaria, and upper respiratory infections. As a result, the number of orphaned children is staggering. What do these tragedies have in common? They’re all happening in Uganda at this very minute and they’re just a few of the issues I’ll be helping to address alongside Mercy Uganda on June 8 – 23, 2010.

Mercy Uganda is “dedicated to working with women and children to address spiritual, physical, educational, and economic needs, thereby helping alleviate the causes of poverty and injustice, and providing hope and a future.” Our specific agenda for this trip includes meeting with the Minister of Ethics to discuss the issue of child sacrifice, working with the medical liaison as well as ministering to those in hospice care, beginning the well-digging project sponsored by a personal friend, updating sponsors about children living in orphanages, and distributing care packages to those orphans.

Will you stand with me to help the people of Uganda? "The harvest is plentiful, but the workers are few. Ask the Lord of the harvest, therefore, to send out workers into his harvest field” (Luke 10:2). The anticipated cost of this trip exceeds $5,000. In addition to personal trip expenses (lodging, transportation, food, immunizations, etc.) this amount includes:

• Direct financial intervention for children having specific and immediate life-threatening medical needs.
• Supplies and training for local women to learn a craft and help support their families (sewing machines, knitting tools, supplies).
• School supplies to Ugandan women pursuing a college education in the medical field. 
• Gifts for orphans (clothing, medicine, miscellaneous needs).

Pastor Bob's website says, "When someone funds their own trip and does not actively seek others to pray for them, it is so easy for the trip to become 'their trip' rather than a coordinated work of the body of Christ, and has little or no accountability or encouragement." Please consider making a generous donation before June 1, 2010 and challenge one friend or business partner to match your gift. If you cannot give, please watch the blog and take the opportunity to pray as I progress through this journey.

“Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you" (Luke 6:38).

My Own Version of Heaven

Susie, the main character in The Lovely Bones, brought up the idea that we all have our own version of heaven. The heavens “didn’t duplicate precisely, but had a lot of the same things going on inside.” She said, “the boys didn’t pinch our backsides or tell us we smelled; our textbooks were Seventeen and Glamour and Vogue” (Seabold, 2002, 17, 18).

My heaven would have beautiful oxeye daisies growing everywhere, and trees that flowered all year long. My heaven would have mountains with snow on the tippy top, trails that crossed over streams and wound through the woods, waterfalls that sprayed cool mist on my face, oceans teeming with whales that danced in the water, and wild animals that would let me watch them from a distance. My heaven would have leaves floating to the ground in autumn and snow silently falling in winter – neither of which would need to be raked or shoveled. My heaven would have lots of bright stars, full moons that are giant-size like when it’s near the horizon, and sunrises and sunsets mixed with a few clouds so all the colors are on display. My heaven would have the sound of peepers, frogs, and birds that could survive without eating bugs – no bugs in my heaven.

My heaven would have cozy fires with no smoke, and hot tubs that didn’t increase the electric bill. My heaven would have motorcycles and snowmobiles that were never dangerous and didn’t burn gasoline. My heaven would have very high and very fast roller coasters – lots of them – and no one would ever get sick from riding them. My heaven would have Scrabble and Cribbage and lots of other games, and lots of people to play them with me – I would win every time after a legitimate struggle (you can win every game in your heaven). My heaven would have Sunday naps every day and bubble baths every night in a tub that held water deeper than my knees.

My heaven would have hot dogs and marshmallows on the fire. My heaven would have Tom’s chocolate cake that wouldn’t clog my arteries or make me fat – and I could have two pieces if I wanted. My heaven would have lots and lots of candy (Twizzlers, Tangy Taffy, 3 Musketeers, peanut M&Ms, etc.) that never rotted my teeth. My heaven would have fruit that was always sweet – grapes, watermelon, pineapple, oranges – and corn on the cob that was always ripe. My heaven would have deep fried crispy chicken (with the skin on) and French fries…and lots of ketchup.

My heaven would have Jesus and Ricky and Grandpa Bloomer, who would be holding baby Ava, and Grandpa and Grandma Hildreth. My heaven would have lots and lots of people who love me no matter what, who forgive me for being stupid or mean, and who like to think hard and talk deep with me. My heaven would have lots of singing and dancing with all the people I love. My heaven would have joy…pure, rich joy.

Please don’t misunderstand these musings. I am not interested in replacing the beautiful place God has prepared for me with something as finite as that which my own mind could imagine. These are just the things I think about.

Revelations 22