Jesus Sends The Twelve

Jesus’ disciples never had the benefit of knowing in advance where they’d lay their heads for the night, what they’d eat, or what customs might be offensive to the locals. As a matter of fact, they were told to “…take nothing for the journey” (Luke 9:3). Jesus also suggested that the disciples would not be well received everywhere they went and that they should “shake the dust off their feet when they leave” if that were the case (Luke 9:5).

I do not go into the mission field alone, I go with the One who sent me. Because I know that I am being called to these places in a way that is like no other previous experience, I can trust Jesus for my provision – material, financial, spiritual.

“The one who sent me is with me; he has not left me alone, for I always do what pleases him (John 8:29). “By myself I can do nothing…for I seek not to please myself but him who sent me” (John 5:30).

Rethinking Alaska

“We were breathing hard now, sweating in the afternoon haze and mobbed by a few thousand mosquitoes each. Every square inch of exposed skin was smeared with Vietnam-issue jungle juice, stuff that dissolves plastic buttons and burns like acid in your eyes. It kept the actual blood loss down to a level that didn’t threaten death, but that wasn’t the real problem. It was psychological warfare, airborne water torture. You felt the constant patter, and knew your back was crawling with living gray fur, hundreds of relentless snouts probing for a chink in your armor. A hand wiped down a sleeve would come away sticky, smeared with corpses, and you strained them through your teeth. Up your nose, in your eyes and ears, there was never a moment’s rest. The blur of perpetual assault and the wail of wings brought on a creeping panic you had to ignore. They were simply a fact of existence, an elemental phenomenon like rain. You could ask, ‘Is it bugging out today?’ Yeah, a downpour. A bloody, bloodthirsty downpour” (Jans, 1993, p. 77).

Taken from a book called The Last Light Breaking by Nick Jans - a man who wrote about his years of living in an Alaskan Eskimo village. This paragraph alone is enough to make me rethink the wisdom of going to Alaska.

Official Alaska Mission Orientation

The first official group communication for those volunteering with the Iditarod mission arrived. It’s exciting to feel the momentum building and to be a part of something much bigger. The communication included information about:

• Lodging – Sleeping in church classrooms with air mattresses and sleeping bags.
• Personal hygiene – Four showers and one washing machine for 60 people.
• Clothing – Boots rated for 40 degrees below zero and fleece.
• Customs – Take off shoes when going into someone’s home, dogs live inside, remove your glove when shaking hands.
• Attitudes – Go the extra mile, make time for romance at home, no smoking, no swearing, and listen for God’s voice.

It’s -19° in Nome right now (2-26-10, 12:19 a.m. AK time). I’m counting down the days until my departure on March 18, 2010.

Mission Trip #2: Uganda

Choosing the second of three mission trips planned for this year was no easy task. Using the same method as was used to identify the Alaska trip didn’t seem quite right. I began attending mission meetings at local churches – each opportunity was equally viable. But none tugged at my heart the same way Alaska did. I encouraged myself to keep looking and to be confident that God would affirm the next trip by giving me that same feeling again.

Almost at that moment I realized what mission trip #2 would be. A few weeks earlier a very close friend shared her late night experience with the Children’s Fund on television and how that led her to seek out a local organization and sponsor a child. She spoke so highly of this organization and of the personal relationship she began with the woman organizing the sponsorships. I loved to hear her talk with such compassion about these children and to see how her heart was being softened toward the things of God.

In honor of this very special friend, I am going to Uganda to visit the child she is sponsoring and to serve the agency responsible for the work in that country.

Where you go, I will go (Ruth 1:16).

My Husband was a Proxy

I know that my dependence on Rick as my husband was right. I knew that he had authority over me, and that I was to submit to him. I knew that he would protect me, that he respected me, and that he loved me.

In reading Heaven by Randy Alcorn, I began contemplating the idea of marriage in heaven. Alcorn suggested that “one marriage—our marriage to Christ—will be so completely satisfying that even the most wonderful earthly marriage couldn’t be as fulfilling” (p. 350). I realized that marriage on earth is like a practice, a foreshadowing for the one true marriage. I am, after all, part of the Bride of Christ.

In this way, then, Rick was a kind of proxy for Jesus while he was here. Our marriage was a kind of practice or early model of what was to come. My dependence on Rick was normal and right, but in his absence that dependence needs to transfer to Jesus as my ultimate husband while I wait to join Him in heaven.

“For your Maker is your husband— the LORD Almighty is his name— the Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer; he is called the God of all the earth” (Isaiah 54:5).

The Resolution for My Disquieting

I acknowledged in a previous post that Jesus could be the intimate lover of my soul. He is all that my husband can no longer be. I call on him when I find myself face-to-face with the realization that I cannot do, or feel, or think without Rick’s presence. I know that this is a right attitude. I have been practicing this for the past year (practicing is the operative word). But what about authority?

I know that I was under my husband’s authority. I know that without a husband I am not reverted to being under my father’s authority, but instead come under the authority of Jesus. I know these things and I’ve tried to live accordingly. Yet, a witness of the Spirit revealed that I’ve never actually transferred this authority from Rick to Jesus. Instead I’ve been looking one way and another for something that doesn’t exist anymore until I finally realized that I should be looking for the Holy Spirit.

With the help of my pastor, in his spiritual authority, we declared this transference by praying together. The disquieting left my spirit and I realized that this was yet another way I had to let go of the one I loved.

“Obey them that have the rule over you, and submit yourselves: for they watch for your souls, as they that must give account, that they may do it with joy, and not with grief: for that is unprofitable for you” (Hebrews 13:17).

The Source of My Disquieting

Off guard might be a better word than surprising. I’m still not sure I can articulate the feelings well, but my best attempt follows. Rick isn’t here to affirm my decisions. He isn’t at home to be my stable pillar while I’m off trekking across the continent. He’s not here to provide guidance or correction should I stray from the right path. He’s not here to provide security or protection over me. He’s not here to be in authority over me. He’s not here to take care of things while I’m gone. Rick is not my husband today and he cannot provide the authority a husband can provide.

The reality of his absence is not new, of course, but the awareness and appreciation for this covering he provided is screaming at me. This mission work is causing me, for the first time, to have a need for and understand the real value of this sense of protection a husband provides.

As a wife, I was under my husband’s authority (Ephesians 5:22).

Disquieting Releases Me

The disorientation continues. I am a confident person. I am independent. I have traveled alone many, many times. I’ve made contact with the organizing mission leaders several times. I have my itinerary all planned. I’m resourceful, a problem solver. I’m studying, praying, and opening myself to the overall experience. I know that I am in God’s will. What is it that continues to cause this odd sense of disturbance?

Something wasn’t right in my spirit and that I needed help uncovering the source. A rather rambling message to my pastor and what were, quite likely, some very confusing attempts to describe what I was feeling resulted in the acknowledgement that I could ask the Spirit for clarity (duh). Simply saying those words released a witness of the Spirit that revealed a rather surprising truth.

“A word was secretly brought to me, my ears caught a whisper of it” (Job 4:12).

Disquieting Seizes Me

I am increasingly feeling unsettled as this first mission journey approaches. But what is the source of these feelings? I know the sensation isn’t from the enemy, but I can’t quite pinpoint what is going on.

Contemplating the typical short term mission journey in an effort to identity what may be amiss, I imagined that people go on short term mission trips under the auspices of their home church. A coordinator enlists a small group of people to serve together. As a collective body the church ordains this group to go on their behalf and to represent them and the Kingdom well. Representing the church means certain behaviors are expected and that accountability exists. The church body also provides prayer, protection, and encouragement to those whom they send.

Am I feeling exposed at not being “sent” by my church? Am I feeling vulnerable? Am I fearful? These considerations don’t seem to resonate with the source of my disquieting – it’s not quite right.

“Amid disquieting dreams in the night, when deep sleep falls on men, fear and trembling seized me and made all my bones shake” (Job 4:13-14).

Personal Preparation for Missions

Preparing my heart, mind, and attitude for service is essential to readiness for service on the mission field. Global Partnership Ministries provides a guide on just how to do that.

1. Prayer – Use the ACTs model and pray for specific topics related to missions.
2. Bible study – Use a devotional reading guide specific to missions.
3. Evangelism – Practice a simple way of leading someone to Christ.
4. Reading – Read mission biographies.
5. Research – Study the country and people where the mission will take place.
6. Journal – Write about these experiences beginning 30 days before the trip.

I’m on the 30 day countdown and have already begun using every one of these suggestions for preparation. I particularly appreciate the Bible study guide provided as the topics are mission specific and relevant to my upcoming work. The first message:

Have mercy on me, oh Lord, cleanse me, give me a pure heart, help me teach others about you, and give prosperity to those I serve (Psalm 51).

My Personal Testimony

Jesus loves me this I know, the Bible tells me so.
I followed the rules and prayed the prayer, was baptized head to toe.
I grew in my salvation and learned to call Him Friend.
But then He took my love away and said it’s not the end.
He showed me a community of three plus me and then,
He called me to the spaciousness of Love among new friends.

Personal Testimony

The ability to give my personal testimony is recommended by the various resources I’ve been studying in preparation for mission work. Charles Swindoll, in his book Come Before Winter, suggested that a personal testimony look something like this:

1. You want to be listened to, so be interesting.
2. You want to be understood, so be logical.
3. You want the moment of your new birth to be clear, so be specific.
4. You want your testimony to be used, so be practical.
5. You want your testimony to produce results, so be warm and genuine.

I’ve always felt like my testimony was kind of lame and not at all compelling. I grew up in a Sunday Christian home and don’t have any tragic stories to tell. I never had a defining moment that wrecked me for Jesus. On one hand, thank God for that. On the other hand, what could I possibly share with others as a testimony about knowing Jesus?

Gospel Presentation

Given the research about the Nome community and the Nome Eskimo Community, my work in Alaska will likely be more akin to helping people break down walls that were erected because of hurts and offenses more than helping people who have never heard about Jesus. But, I would not want to miss the opportunity for having been ill prepared. So, what does it mean to present the Gospel to someone? I found this four-step process attributed to Billy Graham and Bill Bright at Campus Crusade.

Step One: God’s purpose, peace, and love. God wants you to experience peace and life abundantly and eternally (Romans 5:1, John 3:16, 10:10).

Step Two: Our problem: Separation. God created us in His own image to have abundant life. He did not make us robots to automatically love and obey Him but gave us the gift of free choice. Hence, we chose to disobey God on our own will, which resulted in our separation (Romans 3:23, 6:23). Our attempts through the ages have failed to bridge the gap (Isaiah 59:2, Proverbs 14:12).

Step Three: God’s remedy: The cross. Jesus Christ is the only answer to this problem. He died on the cross, rose from the grave, and paid our penalty (I Timothy 2:5, I Peter 3:18, Romans 5:8).

Step Four: Our Response. To receive Christ, we must trust in Him by personal invitation (Revelation 3:20, John 1:12, Romans 10:9). Then pray with the individual and make sure they receive discipling. And focus on the basics, which include prayer, scripture, devotional life, accountability, and discipleship.

While a four-step process is just the kind of thing that resonates with me, I pray that I would not miss an opportunity to connect with someone relationally and that my talking about Jesus would sound like I was talking about an old friend. I pray that the people I encounter would see something in me that they want too and that our hearts would be softened toward Jesus.

Global Partnership Ministries

The second week (March 27-April 3) of my mission trip to Alaska will be in Anchorage with Global Partnership Ministries. The purpose of this mission organization is to establish strategic mission partnerships and to help individuals and churches become personally involved in missions. Established in 1991 to enter newly opened doors in Europe, GPM focuses primarily on Romania, Kenya, and Alaska. Mission volunteers have entered over 30 Alaska Native American villages, four of which can only be reached by plane or dogsled.

This second week in Alaska, working with GPM, will include serving several Anchorage community agencies such as the Food Bank, Bean’s Café (feeding homeless), Pioneer Home Senior Center, Habitat for Humanity, Boys and Girls Club, and possibly conducting a gospel sing in a remote Native village.

A Valentine Mission

Thanks to a close friend I realized that there might be hope for me yet. I was tempted to feel sad because Valentine’s Day is coming and I miss my valentine. I am a little sad, but what I found was that as a result I was determined to help others through their first Valentine’s Day without their spouse. I know two ladies whose husbands died this past year so the upcoming Valentine’s Day will be their first without them.

Every couple celebrates their love in different ways and I realized that I could never have replaced that special moment for them. Instead I made little goodie bags with valentine gifts inside and included a nice card. One got mailed to Florida and the other was left on a doorstep. Cheesy as though they may be, when they receive the gift I hope they feel remembered and loved and special.

What does this have to do with My Second Year? Building compassion is part of my purpose. I had to admit that I actually thought of how someone else might be feeling for a change. These ladies hearts are breaking and I wanted to help however I could…even if it’s through flip flops, cookie cutters, and candy hearts.

“Who redeems your life from the pit and crowns you with love and compassion” (Psalms 103:4).

Missions…What was I Thinking?

Plunging headlong into this idea of missions as my second year, I hadn’t given a thought to the fact that I had no concept of the reality of missions. I have no sense of whether or not I’ll even enjoy missions let alone be good at it. I have no sense of how to integrate such a radical change into a very traditional, low-key lifestyle.

Yet I have absolute confidence that I am fully inside the will of God. I know that whatever is to come will be ordained by the One who purposed my life. My Second Year is absolutely a message of death and grief transformed into life and hope. It’s a daring response to God’s call into short-term missions to ignite a revolution.

"The Spirit of the Lord is on me, because He has anointed me to preach good news to the poor. He has sent me to proclaim freedom for the prisoners and recovery of sight for the blind, to release the oppressed" (Luke 4:18). Pray that I have this kind of boldness.

Book Review: Call of the Wild

Call of the Wild, by Guy Grieve, is a modern story of a Scotsman who leaves his wife and two young boys to answer this call to the remote areas of Alaska. Spending one year in the extreme wilderness West of Galena, with incredible difficulty Guy built a log cabin and lived off the land in some exceedingly treacherous conditions. Were it not for the help of a seasoned family, Guy would have definitely starved, frozen, or been eaten.

It’s not an unfamiliar story. People have been drawn to experience the untamed Alaskan wilderness for centuries. Guy, like few before him, had no skills that prepared him for what lay ahead. The Galena family's befriending gave Guy the knowledge and skills, and the tools and equipment he needed to survive that year. Often repeated, the only reason the Galena family helped Guy was because he had a family of his own. Families watch out for families; this was the rule.

I am not suggesting that Guy’s trek was ordained by God, that’s between he and God. The point is that we never know when God will ask us to do something extraordinary. The only proper response is obedience.

Jesus said, “Follow me” (Matthew 16:24).

Serving the Poor

The issue of money arises in Livermore’s Serving with Eyes Wide Open. He mentions the common feedback from short term missionaries relates to how poor people are in comparison to Americans. While this realization is often true from a financial standpoint, he suggests that the attitude that people are somehow lacking is faulty. Majority world people are wealthy in so many other ways. Livermore suggests that rather than treating them as objects of our great giving in their desperate need of rescue, we treat them as equals so that we relate to them, learn from them, and find mutual ways to benefit from one another.

The discussion certainly shapes how I think of those I’ll be serving. I’ve been trying to learn about Alaskans and Eskimos to be well prepared to relate to them. I’ve been functioning from the mindset that “I have something you need and I’m going to give it to you…aren’t I so wonderful.” I was planning to go and “do” things for people with the supposition they cannot do things for themselves. While in some cases this may be true, the idea that they need some grand human savior (never mind the faulty assumption that I could be that savior) is entirely erroneous. What they really need is a relationship with Jesus or some kind of healing of the heart to restore their relationship with him.

Our great judge will not do so by what he sees with his eyes (Isaiah 11:3-4).

Boots for Alaska

Footwear is particularly difficult to shop for online given the fit factor. Still, three -40° winter boot choices were identified – North Face, Columbia, and Sorel. Each cost well over $120 with some pretty hefty shipping charges and none were available in any local stores.

As averse to shopping as I am, I still need to minimize my spending. Being compelled to brave the mall, I learned that not many places in the world require such extreme temperature ratings in their boots, including Michigan. This news was a bit unsettling, how cold is Alaska anyhow? Among stopping at more than four other stores, I dropped into Kohl’s on the unlikely chance they’d have any winter boots let alone cold rated boots.

A glowing circle of light surrounded the men’s Kamik boots and I think I even heard angels singing. The $100 brand name boots were 60% off. I pulled them on at least up past my thighs, felt a little like a full body cast. Inside they were soft and cushy and my feet got hot after just a few rounds in the aisles. These beauties now rest on my shelf in wait for more snow in Michigan so I can break them in - which will be today.

Spiritual Warfare

You know you’re truly in God’s will when you begin to encounter spiritual warfare. The goal of the enemy is to prevent the will of God from coming to pass. He would have no motivation to attack if God’s will weren’t involved. Some of the ways spiritual warfare presents itself is in personal thoughts, relationships, and spiritual life.

In my thoughts I could begin to doubt my second year purpose given the amount of donations that have come in. I could think, “God must not want me to go because he didn’t provide the finances.” In my relationships, I could become offended by people who suggest I’m simply going on a vacation adventure instead of on a working mission trip. In my spiritual life, I could become distracted with learning about Alaska instead of praying for the Alaskan people I’ll encounter and begging God to meet these people and change their hearts.

I could be distracted by the furnace problems, icy roads, or car tires that won’t keep their air. I could be distracted by taxes, tuition, and a lack of time. I could be distracted by attempts to create division in the church, chocolate cake, this cold that is trying to take me down, or the death of my best friend.

Guess what…NO WAY! There is no way I will entertain the enemy in my house. In the name of Jesus, get out!

Iditarod Sled Dogs

The husky breeds used by the Inuit include Canadian Eskimo, Greenland, Siberian Husky, and Alaskan Malamute. The dogs protect the village by barking at bears or strangers. They act as pack animals, assist with hunting, and pull sleds up to one and a half times their weight. When pups are born, the Inuit perform rituals over the dogs to enhance the most favorable qualities such as pulling the legs to make them longer or poking the nose to make it more sensitive to smell. Dogs used in the Iditarod, typically Alaskan Huskies, are similar to those used by the Inuit. The dogs are tall, covered with double thick coats, have larger hearts, and have a half dog/half wolf appearance. They generally weigh between 40-45 pounds and run like a thoroughbred.

Around 70 mushers with teams of 12-16 dogs each means that there will be more than 900 dogs on the Iditarod trail. They’ll cover about 125 miles each day of the race. Veterinarian checkpoints require the dogs to be examined for injury and illness. Mushers can drop fatigued dogs at drop points where they are flown to Nome. About one-third of the 1,500 dogs that start the race are flown out because of illness or injury. Between one and three dogs die in each Iditarod race; this may disqualify a musher.

The Humane Society and other animal rights groups have attempted to halt the race. But the Iditarod Trail Committee and the individual mushers refocused attention on the welfare of the dogs and the efforts made to keep them healthy and safe. The race is a true test of partnership between a musher and his or her dogs, of the strength of a musher's breeding and training programs, and of musher and companion against the harsh Alaska wilderness.

If you're a dog lover, follow Zuma, the official canine reporter of the Iditarod at http://iditarodblogs.com/zuma/.

Shopping

A peek into my refrigerator confirms that I am not a fan of shopping, grocery or otherwise. Notice the giant container of expired parmesan cheese in the lower right back corner and the giant container of barbeque sauce in the lower right front. I’ll do anything to minimize the number of required trips to the store. Do eggs expire?

Yet for this trip to Nome, I need lots of warm clothes. Luckily, Michigan weather and Rick’s love of cross country skiing means that we have plenty of layers on hand. I’ll serve in Alaska wrapped in his winter wear. I was, however, specifically told that I must have boots rated for -40° and hand warmers for inside my mittens. So, I couldn’t quite get out of shopping all together. How hard could this be?

“I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me” (Philippians 4:13)!

Living in the Polar Regions

I seem to be regularly confronted by polarization of emotions and I haven’t quite figured out how to manage them well. Rick died; Rick is in heaven. Our future together is gone; I get a whole new hopeful future. Adelaide will be born; Rick won’t be there to hold her. I’ll go to Alaska; Rick won’t be there with me. In writing I notice the progression relates to major milestones. Will they all feel like this – both horribly sad and wonderfully beautiful?

Where should I be living in all this? In the North? In the South? Living in between seems like a reasonable goal or maybe they cancel each other out. But I have to admit, even though I know it’s possible, the sense in my heart and my head is one of confusion and fogginess – I’m living in the polar regions. I’m not sure which way to look, which way to live, which way to go. I don’t want to let go of Rick but I don’t want to hold on too tightly either – there we go again…another polar region.

I guess I should be comforted at the realization that God understands these things and even shows a little of the polar regions when He says, “Weeping may remain for a night, but rejoicing comes in the morning” (Psalm 30:5).

Inuit Eskimo Religious Beliefs

By most accounts the traditional beliefs of the Inuit were heavily influenced by the harsh climate in the Arctic where the people lived in fear (rather than worship) of the uncontrollable. They believed in animist principles, they believed every thing had a spirit (weather, animals, and nature). Failing to show proper respect to these spirits would risk interference with an already marginal existence.

Much religious tradition was directed and passed on by shamans who called on helping spirits in times of trouble. The shaman was not a religious leader but a type of healer or psychotherapist. His or her role was to invoke the unseen spirits, perform healing rituals, and offer advice. Rhythmic drums, chanting, amulets, and dances were used to perform shaman duties.

Today the dominant Inuit religion is Christianity; however, most Inuit adapted their religious traditions to Christianity or they adapted Christianity to their religious traditions. Traditional storytelling, mythology, and dancing remain important parts of the culture. For example, the Inuit still practice hunting rituals in hopes of assuring success. Long winter months gave birth to mythological stories that continue to be handed down during storytelling. A confusion of animism and Christianity makes this culture at risk.

It's -14° in Nome right now.

Nome Eskimo Community

The Inuit Eskimos inhabit the Arctic regions in Greenland, Canada, and Alaska. In Nome, a federally recognized tribe called the Nome Eskimo Community currently has 2,180 tribal members who benefit from their services. Alaska Natives make up 58.7% of the total population in Nome.

The Inuit tribe is a mixture of Inupiat Eskimo and non-Natives and has its own tribal council serving as its governing body. Although some employment opportunities are available, subsistence activities are prevalent in the community. Storytelling, mythology, music, and dancing remain important parts of the culture as are family and community. The dichotomy between traditional heritage and modern society causes younger generations to struggle, which leads to higher than average suicide rates.

Is this Blog Interesting?

As I strive to reach as many people as possible with my second year message, I began searching the internet for ways to draw in more followers. Here are some of the tips I found:
1. Write long posts.
2. Write short posts.
3. Write what others want to hear about.
4. Stay true to your message.
5. Be timeless.
6. Be relevant.
7. Write in Chinese.
8. Write in English.

Was this list as helpful to you as it was to me (sarcasm)? Should I write only about grief? Should I write about Haiti? Should I write about Christian literature? Should I write using professional language or should I write using conversational language? Here’s my answer:

I’ve identified the purpose for my second year and I aim to stay right on track. That eagle-eye focus means you will experience a spectrum of messages from grief to dogs to Jesus to shopping and maybe even glimpses of joy. It all fits together but a casual observer might miss the point.

I’m sharing my second year journey into short term missions. I’m not filtering for whether or not the posts are interesting to the widest possible audience or whether or not my mother would approve or whether or not my kids would be embarrassed. This is me…my thoughts, my feelings, my journey, my life. You can see that I am a researcher, a planner, and a thinker. If you stay tuned I guarantee you’ll see some pretty amazing moves of God.

Film Review: NOOMA Whirlwind | 024

Job struggled with a crisis of faith resulting from long, bitter suffering. His possessions and his family were destroyed. He used broken pottery to scrape at his boil-covered body. Friends asserted that his suffering was the result of his own sin. His wife told him to “Curse God and die.” Finally, Job shook his fist at God.

God’s voice came in a whirlwind to question Job of his experience in creating the world. Among many challenges, God asked Job if he’d entered the storehouses of the snow or if he knew who gave birth to the frost from the heavens. Job relented and said, “Surely I spoke of things I did not understand, things too wonderful for me to know” (42:3).

Whirlwind was recorded less than four months after Rick went to heaven. What I got from the message, though, was not a sense of righteous bitterness or an underwhelming view of God’s goodness. What I got from this film was the message that Job’s story wasn’t over…that MY story isn’t over. God blessed the latter part of Job’s life and I have every hope that God will bless the latter part of my life too.

The Law of the Harvest

When missionaries stood before the church to tell of the work they were doing in another country, I found it all purely academic. I never really connected with these lives, these stories, from a place in the heart. The stories were very otherly. My heart was hard toward the needs of the missionaries and the people they loved on. I questioned from my own place of infinite wisdom (sarcasm) whether the need was real or perceived. I didn’t understand what it meant to really be in God’s will. I never realized that a heart’s desire could be anything more than a whimsical want. I never understood the depth at which passion could be evoked for the great gifts that only God can give.

Dear God, I have not sown well. Please forgive me. Soften my heart so that I can see your will and hear your call on the lives of other people. Excite in me the hope for lives transformed in the very same way that my own hope is stirred. Amen.

You reap what you sow (Galatians 6:7).