Someone is Listening

The Land Between. This title describes how I’ve felt at many times during this past two years. Between the past and the future. Between despair and hope. Between confusion and understanding. I could go on. Oh wait, I did. It’s called My Second Year.

Ironically, Pastor Jeff Manion wrote a book about my life…I mean, the lives of so many people who’ve experienced a tragedy in one form or another. Apparently I’m not alone. Not only are there dozens of stories in this book but a close friend, who also felt similarly, gifted me a copy of the book.

While soaking tonight – yes, I love to read while I’m in the bathtub surrounded by water hot enough to make my skin turn red – I read two things that struck me. Of course I should have already realized these tidbits but they were new to me today. First, Jesus called the weary to come to him for rest. That’s not the revelation. That Jesus existed in the beginning and knew that we would need such comfort was the new revelation. I started thinking about how God’s heart must have broken with the Fall and he was already reaching out to comfort us. Every day for all eternity – past present and future – he is ready for us…calling to us to find our comfort in him.

In a related vein, Manion points out that even though God already knows our situation and knows that we need comfort we should continue to go to him because…we need to speak. Yes, isn’t that what My Second Year has been about? It’s been about expressing myself as I struggle through this land between. For me the land between has been not only grief but a reshaping of my whole self – breaking down walls, building compassion, and showing grace. Something about putting words and voice to these struggles and triumphs offers comfort.

I think about the fact that after My Second Year, I won’t have that place for my voice where I can pretend that all 14 public followers, and I have no idea how many closet followers, can hear to my voice. Yes, the practice of journaling must continue. Journaling helps me sort things out in my head and that doesn’t always need to be, nor is it a good idea that it is, a public event. For some reason, though, I find little comfort in the idea of private writing. There is something about knowing others are listening that brings the comfort.

Back to The Land Between, the idea Manion was offering was that in our communication with God we can be assured that someone is listening and that this is not a one-way conversation. Manion (2010) said, “…the very act of voicing our trouble to God begins a conversation in which we have opened ourselves up to his care, his mercy, and his provision” (p. 79).

As I prepare to close My Second Year, pray that I find comfort in this conversation with God that far exceeds the comfort I’ve received in expressing myself through this blog. And pray that I continue to be surprised by hope.

Konoweka Orphans and Widows Hut

You’ve heard me talk about the Bible study I did together with David and a group of widows he shepherds, and about a few super cool moments we shared. And you’ve even received some of their beautiful handcrafts. I feel God calling me to become more deeply involved in the lives of these women in a way that can really make a difference for them and their children.
During my next trip to Uganda I will join their weekly fellowship meetings. We’ll worship together, study the Bible together, I’ll do some teaching about business and finance, and they’ll do some teaching about how they make their crafts. I’ll build relationships with these ladies with the hope of helping lift them out of poverty. In a way we’ve already started something new together.

I’d like to introduce the new blog for Konoweka Orphans and Widows Hut. The blog is intended to highlight the artisans and their products along with stories of how their art is created and what life is like for these women and their children. You can also place orders for their handcrafts through this blog via PayPal. This blog does not replace My Second Year, it is not a Leslie-focused blog, but it’s all about these women, their lives, and their handcrafts. And it’s about supporting and praying for them as we watch their lives unfold over time.
Much of the product content has yet to be developed and I’ll do more of that during my next trip. For now, please check out the blog, tell your friends, and start placing your orders. Remember that you can make special requests too. These ladies are gifted and can make almost anything you desire. Keep in mind that your purchases are helping put their children in school.

A Tale of Many Verses

As I reflected on My Second Year, I noticed that my early posts were filled with Scripture conclusions and that as time passed the incidence of Scripture became less and less. It’s a little scary to think that this lessening could mean that I’m getting back to life and beginning to put God on the back shelf. That’s what happens sometimes, right?

Maybe I’m just making excuses, but I honestly feel that instead of putting God on the back shelf, I’m bringing God into real life with me. Scripture alone cannot have the same depth of transformative results, also the relationships I develop with other people and the way I show and share the love of God transforms me and hopefully those around me.

So maybe you are disappointed to find that I don’t include Scripture with every post, or even many posts these days. But know that the stories I tell are laced with the actual, hands-on, practical, everyday love of Christ.

Below is the story told by my Scripture choices for my first few posts at My Second Year. It’s fun to look back and see how God really did fulfill his promises.

• But wait…doesn’t God tell us that his plans for us are good (Jeremiah 29:11)?
• “But then the Lord answered Job out of the storm” (Job 38).
• He promised his mercies and compassion would be new every day (Lamentations 3:22-23).
• “Speak, for your servant is listening” (1 Samuel 3:4-10).
• Let God transform me into a new person by changing the way I think (Romans 12:2).
• Jesus replied, "If anyone loves me, he will obey my teaching. My Father will love him, and we will come to him and make our home with him” (John 14:23).
• Who knows why this purpose has come at this time but I cannot remain silent (Esther 4:14).
• “I will turn their mourning into gladness; I will give them comfort and joy instead of sorrow” (Jeremiah 31:13b).

Amen.

Welcome Home Again

Home is a beautiful place.

I am so blessed to have a floor that isn’t made of hard-packed dirt, mosquitoes that won’t kill me, and water I don’t have to keep out of my face holes. I can be out in the dark, hang my underwear on the line outside (if I want), and wear shorts in the summer. I have a mattress to sleep on, a Bible to study, and shoes for my feet.

But so what? So what if I “have” any of these things if I never use my education and experiences for the benefit of people who are marginalized in East Africa. So what if I “have” any of these things if I don’t express the compassion and grace God has awakened in me. So what if I “have” any of these things if I don’t show and share the love of God with anyone. So what?

The Last Days

The last days are filled with a few different things. First – I try to answer the question of what one thing (within reason) do I want to do in case I never get to come back to Uganda? and then do it. Second – I try to answer the question what last business needs to be done that cannot be done from home? and then get it done.

First. What one thing to I want to do in case I never get to come back to Uganda? See Murchison Falls and the gorillas. Neither of these sight-seeing marvels is realistic for this trip so I had to add the “within reason” clause. Instead I sit frozen in my room with the fan blowing on my feet uncertain of how to choose exactly what that one last thing would be. Honestly, I find myself longing to be surrounded by the sponsored children and my friends while at the same time knowing that wish isn’t practical or possible. Later tonight the Mercy Uganda team will share a meal and take me to the airport where I will undoubtedly fall apart just a little more.

Second. What last business needs to be done that cannot be done from home? Make some heads roll…in a Christian loving kind of way. Something about my American’ness gives me an attribute the Ugandans don’t have – other than my brightness – which can be both good and bad. I wish I could fix so many things (yes, I am intentionally being evasive) that are so deeply embedded in the culture and history of this country. Yet I know that only God is big enough to bring about this badly needed justice. Meanwhile, I can only hope to impact the life of one person at a time and one last day gives me one last chance to do that.

Why does preparing to leave feel a little like a death sentence?

Olivia's Dorm

After conducting the sponsor update for Olivia, I followed her into her dorm to see where she sleeps. Olivia gets a top bunk because she has a mosquito net, something most of the kids don’t have. The girls swarmed to meet the mzungu. What beautiful faces!

House Arrest

Okay, house arrest may be a strong word but quarantine isn’t quite right either. Gabriel tries to keep me safe by being with me whenever I go out of the house. He says I am too bright and would be an easy target for Ugandans who would assume I had money in my bag. Although we know that not every Ugandan would make this assumption nor would every Ugandan want to steal that money from me, he does have a point. So, while Lauren was gone for three days I obediently stayed close to home.

Wednesday was spent running a crazy lot of errands and doing the Bible study with the widows. While running those errands someone stole the passenger mirror off the car Gabriel borrowed – these are not cheap things to replace here…$150 just for the mirror plate…all in the name of ministry work. Then the post office would not give me access to the box of dollies my mom sent because my name was not on the P.O. Box. (This is a picture of some dollies she’s sending to Laura for a fundraising benefit. Note that they’re wearing clothes made from Rick’s shirts.)

BUT we stopped to see a woman Gabriel called mom while he was at the Africa Foundation children’s home. She hadn’t seen him for 10 years and the look on her face when she recognized him was worth every other setback and all my mosquito bites put together.

Thursday morning Gabriel brought chapatti to go with the pineapple he selected for me on Wednesday. Augustine and Joel were charged with getting me out of the house to enjoy some lunch and fellowship and were specifically told to keep me in one piece. Henry dropped in after lunch and then told Annie I was alone at home when he saw her at the church. Of course, Annie came for a visit. That night, after watching three movies, Gabriel returned with dinner and to play Mancala. The day was wonderful even though I wasn’t allowed to go out alone.

Friday (today) morning Gabriel says he will check on me before starting some non-babysitting-Leslie work he has for the day. Pastor Phillip is coming to visit from Karamoja and we’re planning to talk about how Agnes (his wife) can start a business reselling food for a profit to the family. He’ll take some large sacks of food back via taxi when he returns. Lauren should be home tonight too, although with her broken foot she won’t be taking me out either.

I’ve still got quite a list of things to do so I’ll begin planning how to accomplish them all without the help of Gabriel at every outing. I have a few thoughts on that…stay tuned. Mostly I'm so thankful for all my friends and that they would give of their time for me. Thank you!

Super Cool Moments

Two super cool things happened while at the church for Bible study.

David pointed out one woman who was lying on the floor in the back of the church. He indicated that she was sick. Although I may not have followed the proper protocol for supernatural healing, we prayed for healing for her as a whole church. By the middle of the program, the lady was sitting up and attentive. I talked with her briefly during the time of jewelry making and she indicated that she was feeling much better. Whew and yea God!

Later, one of the women brought smiling Betty to me and told me that Betty was also a widow. This mid-to-late 20s Betty told me that her husband died of heart failure just five months ago. According to Ugandan social custom, Betty was allowed to grieve for two weeks. This beautiful woman clung to me so hard I almost couldn’t breathe. We prayed together and enjoyed the presence of God in our quiet little space in the center of the room, while others simply allowed us the time we needed together. Precious and yea God again!

How can I ever explain the truth behind the idea that if you bless others you will also be blessed? I never understood the reality of this economy until recently, and today I would say that my “gift” to these women was absolutely paltry compared to their gift to me.

Bible Study with Widows

I arrived to the sound of rhythmic clapping and was surprised to find a church full of women waiting to welcome me. The front of the church was set with chairs and a table and the rough benches were packed with women and their babies. Apparently this small Bible study time with widows and mothers would be more formal than I anticipated.

Before stepping into the church, David and the pastor greeted me along with piles of children who rushed out of their classrooms to lay hands on the mzungu. Rebecca, Joanne, and Jessica were also there to greet me – women whom I’d met either in June or earlier on this trip. Something wonderful happens when people make you feel so welcome and wanted.

Following a time of worship, our time together was supported by a Bible study called A Mom’s Ordinary Day: Entering God’s Presence. If I may brag for a moment, my aunt Jean Syswerda edited this Bible study series and she gave me enough copies for all the women…except that the weight exceeded what was allowable in my luggage…so I could only bring a few.

Together the ladies and I discussed the idea of prayer and then we looked at Ephesians 2:1-10. I said, “Get out your Bibles” and then it dawned on me that many of these women did not own a Bible. Sad sigh. We talked about being dead in our sin and alive in Christ because of God’s great love for us. Then we moved to Hebrews 10:19-25 and learned about how we can enter God’s presence through Christ and that because of his death we are no longer separated from God. Tying the study back to prayer we acknowledged that because we can come close to God we should, and that if we try, he will come near to us. Prayer is one way we can be with him. The study time was closed by talking about ways to teach our children to enter God’s presence.

Once I got the proper sense of the level of knowledge most of these ladies had for Scripture and the stories contained within, I was able to adjust the teaching method and content accordingly. Although I cannot answer for these ladies, I believe the study time was helpful. I encouraged the women to work through the remaining five sessions in the book before I return with the next study guide.

Pastor Interviews

All of the pastors in the Bible School warmly welcomed me. Their handshakes and smiles were so sweet and genuine. Their hearts were open and they almost glowed with excitement.

I had the opportunity to talk to several graduating pastors after classes finished, while we enjoyed the goat. Without exception each pastor said with great conviction that their lives and their churches had already been changed as a result of the Bible School in a Briefcase program. They commented that the teachings were so practical and that they could see change in their church members already. These comments were not just the polite comments made by appreciative pastors, but they were eager, enthusiastic, and absolute proclamations.

One common refrain was the invitation to remain in Malindi, Kenya so as to continue providing more Bible Schools and more training. Fortunately, the team will return in October to do a women’s conference and to have the pastor’s do a study on the book of Daniel. Kelly definitely has a special something that draws these pastors to him and engenders loyalty and commitment to the program and to changing lives for Christ.

I’m even sad not to be back with these kind pastors to participate in developing deeper relationships with them and their churches. I am not surprised that I continue to find the people in Africa so charming and lovely.

Malindi, Kenya

The next morning Kathy and I flew to Malindi where Jeremiah, another faithful driver, was waiting to take us to where the Bible school was being held. A big thanks to all the wonderful local people who drive missionaires all over town and then help be sure they're safe while they're visiting.


Malindi is a coastal town to the Indian Ocean. The population is just over 120,000 and its main industry is tourism, particularly among Italians. The African children here often greet us with a "Chow." A drive through town left me feeling a bit like we passed through an African Saugatuk. Perhaps I'll have an opporutnity to walk through later this week.

After Bible school and before dinner, Kathy and I strolled out to the ocean. We passed by three men who professed their deep love for Kathy and me. The tide was out so we kicked off our shoes and dipped our toes in this warm water. Large boats were docked off a far-away pier, bobbing in the waves. We came across a dead puffer fish…all puffed up. Something about having my photo taken with a dead puffer fish seems a little off.

The stroll was relaxing, the scenery was more than beautiful, and I so appreciated the direction the conversation took. Kathy is such a wonderful woman. I am so blessed to have gotten to know her these past few months.

Pastor Phillip

Our first destination was a brief welcome from Pastor Phillip. Pastor Phillip is Gabriel’s cousin and spiritual advisor for Mercy Uganda in Karamoja. He was waiting by the roadside for us and called out his welcome to me when he saw us. I met Pastor Phillip during a Mercy Uganda meeting in June. This man traveled this long journey from Karamoja to Kawuku for a two hour meeting that day back in June. Pastor Phillip’s children and a few of those children being sponsored helped unload the van.

A narrow, non-descript walking trail led Gabriel and I to Pastor Phillip’s house where the children sang and welcomed us again. Pastor Phillip had a single candle to light his entire house while we chatted about the journey. Six-year-old Grace, a twin to Joy, found her way to my lap. The weather began to cool (by Africa standards) and Grace began to shiver. A look at Gabriel and he knew this would be the home for that beautiful scrap-ghan.

Flower Boy

Gabriel and Henry surprised me with a small bundle of pink, yellow, and purple flowers picked from the Lweza Guest House yard. Although the little red ants love flowers and could easily be found tucked deep into the center, I inhaled the fragrance of roses, marigolds, and those purple flowers...whatever they are. I carried those flowers all over town with me for most of the day.

Once we arrived at the new office space, the children began to swarm. Upon departure, one little boy was more than excited to poke his head into our van. I handed him my little wilting bundle of flowers and he danced with excitement. I thought about how happy that little bundle of ant-filled flowers made me and that the flowers gave that joy a second time to this little boy. Would that all gifts could give like that.

Henry's Mother

Search the term “Henry” on my blog and you’ll find several posts about this man who called me “big brained and broad minded.” We happened to be traveling past his mother’s house and pulled in for a short visit. This woman came running out, glad to have company, and hugged me immediately. She thought I was Laura from Mercy Uganda (we do look a little alike).

She ran into the house to put on a different dress and was immediately prepared to pose for her photo with me even after learning that I was not Laura. Ugandans tend to have very serious faces in their photos. I was proud to meet this woman from whom Henry inherited all of his unbridled charisma. She picked one of every kind of flower and handed them to me between Lugunda cheers of “praise God.”

About the photo of me smelling the flowers, Gabriel said “you are bright.”

Uganda Welcoming Party

I kept trying to peek out the far-away window as I waited for my luggage…which couldn’t have come fast enough. The airport was fairly empty as most flights seem to arrive in the evening. A crowd was gathered around the door because they were not allowed into the airport to greet their loved ones. It didn’t take long to recognize the very broad smiling Gabriel and then Annie and Lauren. There is nothing quite like coming to a place, any place, where people are so happy to see you. They made me feel so loved and welcome. Going to heaven will be like that –even better. I keep thinking of the Christian song Coming Home (no link due to expensive internet).

Where was Henry on his boda-boda? Everything was so familiar as we drove toward Lauren’s duplex. By 8:30 I was tearing into my luggage. I think Lauren was most pleased with the quilted Northern toilet paper I brought for her.

I was starting to wind down so Gabriel and Lauren left to run a few errands for me – internet modem and SIM card, cases of bottled water, and money exchange. I…took a nap. And boy did I sleep well. I really wanted to go on these errands rather than be a big poop so soon, but they were very kind as they left me locked in Lauren’s house to sleep. Apparently the neighbor kids still come wandering in whenever they feel like it if the doors aren’t locked.

Herbert's Story: "Children of Grace"

My name is Burora Herbert Anderson [Herbert is in the white coat]. Formerly, I was a street kid for 5 years, I did a lot and passed through ups and downs, thick and thin, long and hard situations. I’ve been between a rock and hard place in life, but above all I want to thank God for my life that despite what I have gone through, I have been able to stand strong.

It was 2 years ago, and I was on my weekly youth campaign – a time I have committed where I go to different towns of Kampala and any other places that are my reach [Herbert shares the Gospel, encourages and counsels, talks about AIDS, poverty, or whatever topic is needed in a given area]. So I met two boys that were interested in helping me stage my small sound system and a few equipments that I use. The boys asked me to come the next day and see where they stay. They promised me to take me to their friends so that I can talk to them and so that I can also be their friend and visit them frequently. From there, they even gave me a name of “Uncle” which is a respect that younger people call someone they fear to call their names flat. I came the next day but it was early so I asked the neighborhood and they directed and found them still sleeping. I was not happy to see the situation that these children were living in and this made me cry in my heart.

I was so broken and touched to see these happy children without care living a life that they did not complain at what they were going through. All I did at that time was to pray for them and see what God could do. I decided to share what I had with these children, though I knew I could not change everything about them. But I knew I could do what I can to change the lives of these children to at least a certain point where they could feel the change. That is why I look for a close Christian school that was cheap and I paid school fees for those who I thought were super interested. I had to go to the school to ask and plead with the school to allow street children go to their school. In most cases street kids are dangerous because they grow wild due to the situation they grow in. The school gave me conditions if the kids were to join the school of which I had to comply with.

I was so happy after some time to see the lives of these kids changing and becoming happy with a cause of hope that someone was caring for them physically and they loved me just as I loved them because I knew what they were going through since it was what I gone through. This picture gives a lot of emotions and challenges on how I can do to make them interested and happy and setting their foundation on firm foundation [10 orphan boys between the ages of 5 and 16 live with Herbert in his very small apartment, about 10’x20’].

Right now, I find it interesting that in the first place I did not fear or get afraid of the responsibility of taking care of these children. I now see and think that they are now part of me, my family and relatives because they are all I have. Indeed these children, though they are not receiving the best they would require or need, though they don’t have enough of what they need, but what is more important, is that, they have got what they want and that keeps you going until the next step is taken.

My appeal to anyone, it does not require only material things to change someone. What changes and moves is the love you have towards them. If you can love, you can change and move mountains. It’s not easy to love because love is sacrifice. You’ve got to love first to love. May the good Lord bless you.

Herbert Anderson

[Herbert has a regular job and supports these boys on his own. He did not ask for anything but I wonder if we could do something to help him relieve the financial burden if only for a short season. Perhaps fund the $120 tuition for 1 of the 10 children? Prehaps food?]

Are My Motives Pure?

Do I long to be in Uganda
…because of the beautiful children?
…because of the kind women?
…because of my passion for education?
…because we make a difference in the lives of some of these people?
…because we identify critical needs and find ways to meet them?
…because Jesus is there?

Or do I long to be in Uganda
…because I was welcomed and accepted?
…because I was appreciated?
…because I was loved?
…because I was helped?
…because I was cared about?
…because I was cared for?

You see, I believe the answer to all these questions is yes. But I feel a measure of caution because of the second list. I am keenly aware of the dearth of all the things during this season of my life. This scarcity may give me a propensity to connect wherever I can have these emotional needs met. I don’t want to be unfair to my dear friends by loving them only because I have a need to be loved. Does that make any sense? I guess relationship is by definition a mutual affair.

God Loves to Feel

I listened to Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert during one of my extended walks and heard this line: “God loves to feel things through our hands” (Gilbert, 2006, p. 187).

While I don’t agree with her religious theology, the comment made me think. Initially I thought about tactile “feelings” such as the sharp crystals of orange sherbet scraping my tongue when I lick, or the silky soft petal of a flower slipping between my fingers. I wondered whether God really liked the feel of my feet pressing the pavement as I walked or my slick skin drenched with sweat.

Next I thought about emotional “feelings” and about the day I opened the door to the police chaplain, and about how excited I was when all the little children of Kyamagemule swarmed on me. Does God love to feel both the good and the bad?

Finally I thought about how our hands (heads, and hearts) are one way God experiences the world. The indwelling of Christ is a mystery but his loving to feel things through my hands means that my relationships with other people are experienced by him. How I love others, how I serve them, how I long to be with them…these are all feelings God has through my hands. Does that change the way I respond to people? I sure hope so.

We know that he lives in us by the Spirit he gave us (1 John 3:24).

Beaverdam Baptist Church

Pastor Phil brought a team of 18 people on the mission trip to Alaska and I wrote about this group in a previous post about Southern Hospitality. When I arrived at church Sunday morning, Big John was waiting for me, all smiles. Inside, all those folks who had been on the mission trip wrapped themselves around me…some of them did so several times. Remember my love language is touch. Yep, I love that kind of welcome!

But then…everyone I met in the church did the same thing. Without even knowing who I was or that I’d been a guest of Pastor Phil, everyone else at the church introduced themselves and gave me a big hug. One dear lady said they don’t do handshakes. I could love a church like this for sure. I could easily see how this church and Pastor Phil fit together perfectly. I dare not guess who came first, but they were certainly all very sweet people.

I attended Sheila’s Sunday school class and was so impressed by how much the people cared for one another. We may have spent a bit of time socializing, but I could hear the content of that socializing as ministry. Pastor Phil taught about Revelation and revival in the morning and evening services. Monday’s prayer night was probably the most moving, there wasn’t a dry eye in the place. So many needs were lifted up to the Lord. I pray that the Holy Spirit would rain down on the people of Laurens County and that they would find their home among the people of Beaverdam Baptist Church.

“Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another” (John 13:34-35).

Pastor Phil and Sheila

I had the honor of meeting Pastor Phil and his team of 18 people during Mission Trip #1 in Nome, Alaska. Beaverdam Baptist Church is their home and the church is situated in Laurens County, South Carolina.

I visited with Pastor Phil and his wife Sheila this week. When I arrived, Pastor Phil dropped everything he was doing and we spent several hours just talking. Sheila returned from the grocery store, having bought groceries for me, and showed herself to be a beautiful and very precious woman. They prepared their lake house for me and provided for my every comfort in an abundant way. Pastor Phil and Sheila truly showed me the love of Christ.

As I reflect on the warm way they loved on me, I think about how we are called into relationship with one another. What a wonderful model they’ve created for their family, their church, and for me. For more reasons than one, this couple will forever have a very special place in my heart.

I am struck by the way God began orchestrating this relationship many years ago with a desire to visit Alaska. I believe God had a purpose for bringing Pastor Phil and I to Alaska at just the right time just as I believe he orchestrated our meeting again this week. His timing is perfect and I believe this will not be the last time we meet, but I believe that our stories will continue to intertwine for many years to come.

“He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end” (Ecclesiastes 3:11).