Widows

I’m getting better about not blurting out to just anyone that I am a widow. However a few opportunities to connect with people presented themselves via this fact. Yet I was advised not to tell people that I am a widow, even if someone asks my marital status. Why?

In Uganda, being a widow means that opportunities to take advantage of you exist. Being a widow in Uganda means many people will assume the wife killed the husband with AIDS. Being a widow in Uganda usually means you lose your house and everything in it (if you have one) because you have no property rights. And… that I am a widow makes the person who advised me about this social issue very sad.

I understand widowhood from the Ugandan cultural perspective very little, and these arguments make so much sense. Yet the idea of disavowing/denying/failing to acknowledge this very large and very important part of my life is revolting. I have much life experience as a result of my marriage and may have some comfort to offer others…yet I am to say nothing. I did ask what my response should be and was told to say that I am single and have children. How is that any better?

I’ll continue to watch and listen about how widows are affected in Uganda and pray that I can come to terms with this cultural nuance that is much larger in my eyes than in the eyes of so many others.