Journaling

In an early post called My First Year, I described the writing I did about the ways I recognized the many first without Rick and the many lasts with him. This 94-page journal was a very private and safe way to express myself as best I could at that time. No judges scored the content, or the authenticity, or the level of public interest. It’s all mine…no risk, no danger, just me and Jesus.

Writing for the My Second Year blog is undoubtedly another form of journaling. The blog is filtered in that it has a specific focus – grief, healing, and transformation into life and hope through short-term missions. It’s also a very public display of my heart. Putting myself “out there” is entirely contrary to the private person I am/was. It’s scary…to say the least. Every time I think I should not reveal a particular piece of me I’m somehow prompted to do it anyhow…to take the risk, to be authentic.

To write publicly about the details of my personal journey for the world to see is also exciting. I’m learning to let go of a deep concern for being judged and to trust that what is in my heart is real and broken and normal and that the only person from whom I need approval is Jesus. I’m also learning more about myself when I really allow those deep thoughts to surface through journaling. It’s still hard to let go of those old fears, but I can feel it happening.

Let me encourage you in all that you have been through, are going through, or will go through to focus on Him. “Perfect love casts out fear” (1 John 4:18).