Who am I?

I was reflecting on a number of conversations I’ve had with various friends over the past couple of months. We talk about things like where I want to live, what I want to be when I grow up, or whether or not I like/dislike certain things. I was struck by the realization that I was responding to many of the discussions based on old paradigms. I responded based on plans Rick and I established. I responded based on who my employers said I was. I responded based on what others expected me to be. Of course, some of my own thoughts were mixed in.

Have you ever taken a personality test…something like Myers-Briggs typology or the DISK assessment? I’ve taken the pair of tests perhaps four or five different times. Each time I felt pressured into answering the questions based on what other people say about me, who society said I should be, what my education said I should be, or what I wanted to the answer to be. I was never sure what the answer truly was…what was really true about me.

So, who am I really? As I reflected on these conversations with friends, I realized that I might not answer some of those questions in the same way today as I would have in the past (if I allowed myself the moment to reflect before blurting out the long practiced answers). Of course that doesn’t mean I know how I would answer differently. I love being challenged to really think about what I want and who I want to be.

It’s a little disconcerting to not know who I am, but at the same time it’s really exciting to think maybe – just maybe – My Second Year really is transforming me. Or…is it that I want the change and so that is what I see? Oh bother. Among all else, I always know that I am a child of God and whatever good there is in me comes from him.