Off guard might be a better word than surprising. I’m still not sure I can articulate the feelings well, but my best attempt follows. Rick isn’t here to affirm my decisions. He isn’t at home to be my stable pillar while I’m off trekking across the continent. He’s not here to provide guidance or correction should I stray from the right path. He’s not here to provide security or protection over me. He’s not here to be in authority over me. He’s not here to take care of things while I’m gone. Rick is not my husband today and he cannot provide the authority a husband can provide.
The reality of his absence is not new, of course, but the awareness and appreciation for this covering he provided is screaming at me. This mission work is causing me, for the first time, to have a need for and understand the real value of this sense of protection a husband provides.
As a wife, I was under my husband’s authority (Ephesians 5:22).
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